Over the last few years it's felt like the world is getting crazier and crazier. Sometimes I start to see good signs, I start to feel like the world might be getting back on track, but I keep seeing more craziness too. And it takes it's toll. Life feels weird right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm holding my breath and waiting to see what will happen. Some days I wonder if world war 3 really is just around the corner.
But other than that I'm feeling pretty good right now. My job, that I hated and that really took a LOT out of me, is over, and I'm taking some time for myself. I mean, there's anxiety about the future to be sure, but for the moment at least I'm just trying to take it easy and heal slowly.
Somehow I feel like I'm very busy every day despite not having a job. Some of that is hobbies, which I'm getting to spend more time on, some is projects I'm doing with family and friends, some is just getting my own stuff in order. And a lot of time seems to be going to the cats too, needy little furballs that they are.
Old Resolutions:
I spoke last year about sleeping earlier, doing more exercise, and spending less. Well, I'm not sleeping as early as I should but I feel like I'm slowly improving a bit - maybe just having more time during the day makes it easier? No real progress on the exercise unfortunately. I do feel like I'm spending less these days though; part of that is not having as much money to spend of course... but I've also managed to resist several relatively large and tempting purchases this year, just because I do try to remind myself to be more strict about this sort of thing, and in general I think I've been "pulling the trigger" on purchases less, leaving them in my shopping cart until I lose interest or just realise that I probably wouldn't use them much anyway. So I'm kinda happy about that at least.
New Resolutions:
This year I would like to try to get more organised. I am going to start using an actual calender to keep track of things (yes, I know, I should have been doing that for decades already).
I hope to take better care of myself, of my health.
I want to remember to break obstacles down into small pieces, so that I can focus on and tackle them bit at a time instead of being intimidated by the whole thing and wasting my time procrastinating.
I want to finish some of my more ambitious hobby projects, things I've been wanting to do but putting off or just leaving half finished for years and years.
I want to actually follow through on learning new things. I feel like I pick up a lot of hobbies, but don't stick with them enough to be "good" or for them to be very useful. Like the whole CNC thing, I had all these plans and yet I've done so little. I want to go back to CNC manufacturing, and start making things I can actually sell. I want to learn actual digital sculpting, to be able to make my own models from the ground up. I want to mess around with small integrated computers and make my own small devices.
It really feels crazy for me to say this, but I want to be able to support myself with the things that I love, the creative hobbies that I spend so much time on yet seem to get so little out of.
Yeah, that's all way too much for just one year. But let's just say those are the areas I want to start to make progress in at least; less "resolutions" and more new priorities. It seems it was Martin Luther King Jr. who once said "If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward". I say that to myself a lot these day, just trying to keep crawling forwards even if it feels like I'm going too slow to ever get anywhere.
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