Wednesday, December 31, 2025

2025 End Of Year Report

This was another strange year. I was basically taking the year off, my focus was mainly on finishing old projects and learning new skills. It feels like I got very little done, but some of the things that I did achieve I'm quite proud of. Still, time really did fly.

My vision has been deteriorating even further. Spending tons of time staring at my phone hasn't helped, and I've been too busy and too broke to get my eyes looked at again or to get a proper pair of glasses. At this point I need reading glasses AND magnifiers when painting fine details - sometimes even details that aren't all that fine. It kinda depends though; sometimes my eyes feel worse than others.

I've been extremely busy with cats this year. That's not exactly new, but it might even be worse than last year, and not having a salary made the financial side sting more. Perhaps this is a good thing though, a learning experience. Perhaps.


Old Resolutions
I didn't fully stick to the calender thing, but I used it a bit, so it was a start I suppose.

I can't say that I took much better care of my health; I was too busy taking care of a whole gaggle of cats with lots of health problems of their own. But I think I'm eating a bit healthier than I was in the past, and there were period at least - especially towards the end of the year - where I was able to stick to a routine that included exercising (although it never lasted all that long before something got in the way, but still I feel like I'm slowly getting better at sticking to it).

I guess I didn't have too many issues facing obstacles where I would need to remember to break them down; still, overall I think I did a better job of throwing myself into things, starting small if needed, and not wasting too much time procrastinating. So that's kinda nice.

I haven't gotten many of my old hobby projects done, which sucks, but I did complete some projects that I feel rather proud of, so that's something.

I did get better at some of the things I've been trying to learn. I made some progress with Blender, I designed and 3D-printed some useful stuff, I feel like I understand microcontrollers and single-board computers just a little better than I did before, to the point that I feel like I can actually do things with them now - when I can find the time.

Unfortunately the idea of supporting myself doing things that I love feels farther away than ever; I've gotten better at things, but they've taken so long that it feels even more unrealistic than before to imagine trying to make them profitable.


New Resolutions
I've really found that sleeping late has a very negative effect. A big part of why I sleep late is that, after each hectic day is finally done and I can settle down in my room with the door closed and all the possible distractions gone, I feel the need for a "hit"; I watch videos or read webcomics or things, waiting for the elusive feeling of "that was good, I'm satisfied now" to magically materialise and somehow release me from... whatever it is that won't let me put my head down and stop feeling like I'm in a race. Dopamine addiction or something, I REALLY need to get past the feeling that if I'm not doing something else I need to pick up my phone and check social media or chase some sort of distraction like Youtube.

I'm addicted is what I'm saying, and I need to break my dependence. But especially, or at least initially, at night when I should be sleeping. If I can sleep early, that will help a lot with my days. So yeah, let's go with "I need to put my phone away and be in bed before midnight". Well, that's not exactly the perfect routine, but it would be a start.

I also want to start reading actual books again. I used to consume books like food, but I haven't read a physical book in ages. There's reasons for that, but the biggest one is probably that smartphone-fueled dopamine addiction. So instead of picking up my phone, I want to pick up a book. I need to keep one next to my bed so I can grab it when I'm on a break. Maybe I need a chair to sit and read instead of just flopping on my bed? I'll having to figure something out I guess.


What a lot of this comes down to, is I want a healthier daily routine. Wake up earlier, check the calender, write my daily to-do lists, do some regular exercise, avoid spending ages on my phone, read actual books, sleep early. It shouldn't be so hard, but somehow it is. I seem to be bad at multi-tasking; I need goals, but can only focus on a few at a time, when there's too many I let things slip, and I always have too many that I keep cycling between. I keep getting distracted by random life stuff and it feels like I lose my progress each time and have to start again. I guess I need to prioritise the routine over the projects, and not allow things to slip even though there's "more important" things to take care of.

I have to avoid getting into a funk state where I just sit around feeling depressed and killing time, especially late at night when it ruins my next day. I don't know how to avoid it, all I can think of to do is to try to keep reminding myself, to try to clear my head and "reset". Maybe I need to do some meditiation or something. That sounds good, maybe I can make it a nightly thing? I don't have to figure out the specifics right now, I just have to have a goal of having a healthy routine.

So yeah, I guess that's the goal this year. Find and stick to a healthy routine; the rest are just steps, sub-goals. Of course "quitting a social media addiction" is a hell of a sub-goal...

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